Weiss Advice Issue: 222, January, 2022

I’m weary of people insisting they provide me with “background.” If I don’t stop them, they’ll rattle on for 20 minutes to tell me how they arrived at whatever point they’ve arrived at.

Some protest my insisting they stop. “But I’m different from others, and it’s important for you to know my story.”

No, it’s not.

As much as we take pride in our individuality, most people are herd animals. The same issues of esteem, ego, fear, guilt, and so on are affecting them to varied degrees. Most people who don’t progress sufficiently are simply not trying hard enough to do the right things. They’re afraid of failure, or critique, of embarrassment.

When your buyers (or others) rattle on, they are usually articulating their cognitive processes. In other words, they’re verbally reviewing their own “story,” decisions, and beliefs in a public self-examination. That may be interesting therapeutically for a clinician, but it’s not interesting to me. It’s not that I don’t care about people, it’s that I can’t help them if they insist on self-analysis instead of some tough love from an expert.

Stop the spoken auto-biographies. They’re all about the rear-view mirror and the wake of the boat.

It’s not about how you got here, it’s about where you want to go.

© Alan Weiss 2022